What the fuck are you guys talking about?

[As our weird frame of reference starts inevitably seeping into the reviews, we’ll keep updating this page with explanations and sources of things.]


Jess / Uncle Jess – Spanish director Jesús Franco, whom we have an affectionate, first-name relationship with (in our minds.) Uncle Jess is the even fonder nickname many of his fans give him. Other directors we pretend to know on a first-name basis are Russ [Meyer], Jean [Rollin], and maybe Peter [Jackson.] David Lynch, for some reason, is Lynch.

Technology vs. Horse

“What are we filming today, [Jess/Russ/Jean/Peter/etc.]?” – This is a sentence we like to say when the scene in front of our eyes is so weird, repugnant, or physically contrived that we can’t imagine the actors involved ever imagined they would find themselves in that position. Sometimes you can almost see the actors have one of those out-of-body moments, when you see your life from a wide angle and slightly above, and can’t understand how you came to be doing what you see yourself doing.

"What do you mean?" he promptly asked.

“What do you mean?” he promptly asked.

“‘What do you mean?’ he promptly asked.” – Something we say to the screen when the protagonist lets blatantly cryptic or ominous statements go completely unclarified.